Journeying down a different road

After many months of jerking Paula around, we would like to continue our journey.

I sometimes wonder (quite often) why she loves me and what she sees in me? I think its time to stop questioning that, and just accept it. I am truly lucky she is the person she is, and she loves me the way that she does. I have certainly tested her patience and capacity to love.
I have been going through a tough time, and stuffing a lot of feelings, it took thinking I had lost her, to reconnect with those feelings. She is an amazing woman, even more amazing person, and I have no doubt that I would never meet another like her. We both have learned a lot form each other, and still have much to enjoy, and experience with and about each other. There is still a lot to be learned, overcome and enjoyed with her.
It is a pity you will probably never meet her. She is very charming, smart, funny, natural, and a go getter. She has a way of putting people at ease, and a beautiful infectious laugh. Another thing I love about her is the way she sees things, expresses herself. Her cute "Paulaism's". I love the way she thinks, so different than I do, and so outside the box. She will not let a problem stand in her way, she will find a solution, usually something that never occurred to me. She is all woman, graceful and sexy, great sense of style. Its is amazing her ability to give, the way she shows her love and dotes on me, as well as put up with me, and that has not been easy, fun, or fulfilling for her.
Am not sure what the future holds, we have not seen each other in almost 8 months, and that has been very hard for both of us. The tentative plan is that she will come over again in February. We did much better when she was here earlier this year. I have no doubt that being together again will make all the difference in the world. I hope we can rekindle the sparkle we had in the relationship rather quickly, I imagine that has a lot to do with how well we reconnect in the next 2 months. I had been very aloof and closed. Now I will give my best to be much more open, willing to do what is needed and give her what she needs. She is going through a tough time as well, she needs me, and I have not been there. I hope I am learning to recognize my pattern now, and can approach many things in a much more mature and adult way. Now it is time for me to give, to be there for her. To be less selfish, learn to appreciate how lucky I am and work at holding on to that. Time to go down a different road, I hope hand in hand with Paula.

A journey discontinued

Paula
It happened on Monday, yepp, 3 days ago.
I woke up and caught myself making
this funny wake up noises Skip loves so much.
I made myself a coffee, my new haircut all tousled.
My knee is not hurting. Feels great every day again.
Made my exercises.
Made my daily meditation.
Checked if all what I wanted to achieve
in April really got done.
All done. Felt good.
Checked my plans for May knowing
I have to make decision about this walk I wanted to do
Sipped more coffee, recapturing Tuesday last week.

Yeah, it feels good to be with your best friend
sharing, laughing,
giving space
complementing each other
being physically crazy about him too.

Hmm, catching up on all on Tuesday felt so good.
Last week Tuesday.
After a few days where Skip and I ve
had eMail contact only
we spent hours on phone & webcam.
Catching up, joking around
telling us sweet nothingness
sharing desire, wants, needs, likes
imagined how reunion would be.

Towards end of week time is always very short and
time difference isnt helping either.
So on this Monday morning I sit down,
still all tousled,
knowing there would be a long eMail.
First long one in days with him working so hard.
Looking forward to open mail, humming away.
The eMail wasnt as long as I thought.
It simply told me that

I AM SINGLE.

Finally speaking on the phone
With him realising that
he has to much on his plate
no time for himself,
not even being able to really care for himself
not even really thinking
going in circles, but without
any consideration of what it means for me
for us, not only giving up relation,
but giving up the best friend
we are actually crazy about?
Stating that he is aware he has
emotional & spirituell responsibilty
for the situation?
What the heck is that supposed to mean?

The road is blocked, the ways are separating.
5 incredible intense years
a short phone conversation -
only after I insisted to find out what is going on.


A few days ago I posted how much Skip
enjoys what I blog, to stay posted, connected, to see
what my ever so busy mind decides to blog.

Flexible. Fantastic. Facettes
of blogging.

A new facette.

Discontinuing the blog.

The journey is dicountinued.
Skip travels his road.
I travel mine.

Flexible. Fantastic. Facettes
of blogging
mentioned how much we/I were surprised people reading our ramblings.
Coming back, commenting, sending eMails.

This blog created virtual friendships which I, Paula, dont want to miss.
Contacts I do care about. Loving people who share my devastation already.
I will contact you via your blog and leave my new blog address. Thanks for being here!

I want to thank all of you who have so unexpected for me journeyed our road with us. I wish all of you the very best and maybe somewhere on the crosscroad of life's journey we will meet again.

Love,

Paula

Auer Dult

Paula
Following the sun to the Auer Dult (which roughly translates into fair in the meadow). When established 1310 it was a fitting name, by now the fair is more or less in the middle of town. So very much Bavaria where tradition is nothing to be celebrated a few times a year but the style of living every single day.
Auer Dult is the biggest pots, crockery and porcelain market in Europe, by now offering all sorts of household goods, natural remedies and clothing too. A small flea market and antiques.
The old ferril from 1925 as well as very old merry-go-around from 1937 are there for the kids. All very traditional, old fashioned. Live & let live!
This very traditional Bavarian stuff isnt up my line at all. What I like is that the Bavarian stick to there old fashioned stuff but ensure they have the newest, high quality microfaser towel for cleaning the traditions....! Its a bit like "Laptop & Lederhosn". Tradition & Hi Tech.

Art @ the Barn

Paula
The sun was calling.
Spent time at an old farmers estate, affectionately called "The Barn".
Never had been there before. It is not just art. The Barn has rules: natural material or recycled material only, everything handmade, if possible with old techniques and traditional tools.
Just my place. Had a great time.

This & That

Castle Amalienburg/Munich, through the window, mirroring nature

Taken by Skip last year, one of my fav's

Paula
Day 33 in Munich
Umm, lots of thinking going on this side of the pond.
Love that we write every to each other the good moments of the day
Love that we decided to create a jar with our wishes to be enjoyed every week, taking turns in pulling one out of the jar - will be FUN and maybe quite surprising. I am sending Skip my wishes to fill up the jar...
Happy that my knee is doing great and I am up and about, now just working exercises and getting back in shape
Detoxing was great, now slowly starting to eat a bit more again
Reaching a decision what I want to do with my time here, actually I am fairly close to decision
Which even better leads to finalizing a date for my return flight

Ok I am fighting lack of patience and pressurize myself too much however

Life feels good
One day at time

Illusion

Skip, you saw a couple in an intimate love position, right?
Research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
What they will see, however, is NINE (small & black) dolphins in the picture!
Means you are not a young or innocent ;-))
Now, if it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind might be corrupted...

OK, here's help: look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up. Look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder... got it?

Flexible. Fascinating. Facettes

Paula
of blogging.
Every day I experience that our blog is exactly what we make out of it and what is needed for this particular moment in time.
Is it just 6 months ago when I suggest this blog to Skip, earning a very suspicious look at first. Having our story online as a sort of family album, to remember in a few years time how all started, what concerned us, what happened around us. Surely a way to improve my English. Maybe it would become a way to keep friends & family on both sides of the pond informed.
I looked for a provider, we started writing and I started browsing others blogs leading to these bloggers re-visiting our blog. Sometimes I left a comment for a birthday or wishing well by illness. Suddenly we had visitors from around the globe, turning in virtual friendships. We found it amazing that "strangers" are interested in our ramblings. I really enjoy reading their blogs too and sometimes chat with Skip about a particular blog & blogger friend.
By then blogging became a way for me to deal with integration in a new culture, integrating in my new home country. That is how we felt when I left for Munich.
And now?
I write more, Skip reads more. The blog became a way to stay connected during our long distance situation till my return. It is a way for Skip to see what is on my mind, what I am busying myself with while being apart for now. With time difference and his work schedule it is sometimes the only daily contact we have - besides of eMail.
Skip, it was so nice telling me that our blog right now is a sort of "Paula News" for you, to keep you posted :-)

Bo-Boom....in Germany

Paula
Yesterday I giggled about this Germany or Florida - thing.
And today?
Umm, the Germans seem to go silly over "Bo".
"The president’s decision to get a Portuguese Water Dog for his family has resulted in a boom in demand for the breed. At least in Germany. The German newspaper Bild reports that the breed has sold out in the country and interest in the dog “is out of control.” Full article
For sure a different way of stimulating the economy, but I do wonder what will become of these dogs when the first excitement is over. I lack understanding for turning an animal into a boom.

"Flawreeda or Shermany..."

Paula
Yelli had a good laugh about my/our "strangeUSA" post and sent information about a website so perfectly fitting for ME:
Germany or Florida.
Actually it is a sort of game where the public provides a freaky story and the moderators have to guess if it origins in Germany or Florida. Its about bizzare behaviour which is apparently especially common in Germany and Florida!
Example:
"A 17 year-old was recently arrested for attempting to rob a bank with a potato gun. Florida or Germany?"

A different kind of books

Paula
A good book is a masterpiece. I did "stumpleupon" this page today and this book art are masterpieces too. Lots of work and how creative in the first place! Wonder if they found the idea in a book?