A journey discontinued

Paula
It happened on Monday, yepp, 3 days ago.
I woke up and caught myself making
this funny wake up noises Skip loves so much.
I made myself a coffee, my new haircut all tousled.
My knee is not hurting. Feels great every day again.
Made my exercises.
Made my daily meditation.
Checked if all what I wanted to achieve
in April really got done.
All done. Felt good.
Checked my plans for May knowing
I have to make decision about this walk I wanted to do
Sipped more coffee, recapturing Tuesday last week.

Yeah, it feels good to be with your best friend
sharing, laughing,
giving space
complementing each other
being physically crazy about him too.

Hmm, catching up on all on Tuesday felt so good.
Last week Tuesday.
After a few days where Skip and I ve
had eMail contact only
we spent hours on phone & webcam.
Catching up, joking around
telling us sweet nothingness
sharing desire, wants, needs, likes
imagined how reunion would be.

Towards end of week time is always very short and
time difference isnt helping either.
So on this Monday morning I sit down,
still all tousled,
knowing there would be a long eMail.
First long one in days with him working so hard.
Looking forward to open mail, humming away.
The eMail wasnt as long as I thought.
It simply told me that

I AM SINGLE.

Finally speaking on the phone
With him realising that
he has to much on his plate
no time for himself,
not even being able to really care for himself
not even really thinking
going in circles, but without
any consideration of what it means for me
for us, not only giving up relation,
but giving up the best friend
we are actually crazy about?
Stating that he is aware he has
emotional & spirituell responsibilty
for the situation?
What the heck is that supposed to mean?

The road is blocked, the ways are separating.
5 incredible intense years
a short phone conversation -
only after I insisted to find out what is going on.


A few days ago I posted how much Skip
enjoys what I blog, to stay posted, connected, to see
what my ever so busy mind decides to blog.

Flexible. Fantastic. Facettes
of blogging.

A new facette.

Discontinuing the blog.

The journey is dicountinued.
Skip travels his road.
I travel mine.

Flexible. Fantastic. Facettes
of blogging
mentioned how much we/I were surprised people reading our ramblings.
Coming back, commenting, sending eMails.

This blog created virtual friendships which I, Paula, dont want to miss.
Contacts I do care about. Loving people who share my devastation already.
I will contact you via your blog and leave my new blog address. Thanks for being here!

I want to thank all of you who have so unexpected for me journeyed our road with us. I wish all of you the very best and maybe somewhere on the crosscroad of life's journey we will meet again.

Love,

Paula